And Life Continues On

 My heart is aching still, as I mourn the loss of my Mom. When we got her home on 1/4/24, the Hospice nurse said Mom's  status was "Imminent", which meant she was within 2 weeks of death. That proved to be completely accurate. She died on Thursday 1/18/24, quite peacefully. We buried her yesterday 1/22/24.

The three weeks I was away from home were the most stressful days of my life. While there was plenty of sibling comaraderie, laughter and tears, there was also quite a bit of conflict and drama. Totally unnecessary from my perspective but you can't dictate how people deal with stress and loss.

Millie, who we co-opted to become our therapy dog.

My little brother. who belongs to Millie, made us dinner one night and visited Mom daily.


Older brother came over to be with mom so sister T and I could take a short hike in the frigid weather.

The day she died I elected to sit next to Mom for most of my 'on duty' shift until 3:30 am when sister T took over. I just had a feeling I guess.  I then slept for a few hours and when I got up, I checked on her and T and they were both sleeping with T holding mom's hand. Not 10 minutes later T came out and told me she stopped breathing. We called all the siblings, then hospice. I can't say enough good things about the Hospice staff - they are the kindest most helpful people and guided us every step of the way (those who would listen anyway).

Three of mom's great grand children. Six of seven siblings and their families came over for dinner and the football game the day before the funeral. Guess who they were rooting for?

I was dreading the wake and funeral, as I had no one there for me - we both decided that daughter should not fly out from LA for various reasons, so I was on my own. Then my friends Dale and Dan came to town (3.5 hr drive) to support me and I was so grateful and thrilled. Not a half hour later, I looked across the funeral home and there stood Susan, Amyjean, and Ann Marie! I was so touched and blessed and thankful for them all. They also drove 3.5 hours to be there with me. Words cannot convey my gratitude for their presence and caring. 

Mom would have been happy to know that Father Joe, her nephew's son, came from Auburn NY to say the funeral mass. Mom and Aunt Pat went to his ordination not 4 years ago. She was very proud to have a priest in the family.

I am home now to try and navigate this new life without Mom. It may take awhile to heal from the stress of the past month. My memory is unreliable, and every time I wake up, I am disoriented in terms of time and location. My fitness and eating habits are subpar at best. It's going to take some time to heal.

Comments

  1. MargaretJanuary 23, 2024 at 9:35 PM

    We have always known a world with our moms in it and losing parents is like cutting away part of ourselves. Give yourself time and grace--you will find your way. The obituary is beautiful and well-written, giving us a real sense of who your mom was and what was important to her. I don't understand drama during such already stressful times. It happened with my dad's death as well, mostly from my sister-in-law and her friends who were caring for dad. It's too long a story to go into here, but you would roll your eyes for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maureen MJanuary 24, 2024 at 11:07 PM

    Thanks, I'm moving slowly as I catch up on sleep and get used to not worrying about her all the time. I feel like I'm in a limbo state.

    ReplyDelete
  3. PamJanuary 26, 2024 at 6:08 AM

    Oh dear, you have my sympathy. Such a stressful time.

    ReplyDelete

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