Stress Is Relative - Pun Intended

 Another week spent at mom's and I'm finding my limits in terms of stress. I suppose one does what one must in difficult circumstances, such as escaping a wildfire with only minutes notice. Or living in a war zone for a year and a half with no end in site. Compared to the challenges some people are facing, caring for an aging parent doesn't seem like much of a stressor. Yet here I am. 

When I arrived on Tuesday, mom was still having stomach pains and digestive problems. She was having trouble caring for herself after being sick and eating very little for 2-3 weeks. She refused medical treatment, so I just did my best helping her and preparing meals. I also met with a woman who has agreed to be her care giver starting tomorrow. 

We also met with the Caring Angels, a more formal care giving company and mom was receptive to using them as well. She finally admitted that she knows she needs help, but wishes it were family. This is where the guilt got to be overwhelming to me. Unfortunately none of us are able to give her consistent care due to many and varied constraints. 

I spent the first three days care taking solo, and when I did get out to walk or bike, had tears swimming at the edges of my eyes most of the time. Finally my CT sister arrived and was able to calm me down and even have a little fun. Mom also started to improve as she works toward a future with care givers. The last night there, she even surprised us by asking to play Scrabble. Of course we did!

Geraniums by the clock tower at Centerway Square on a solo biking photo tour.

The Gaffer

Pedestrian bridge over the Chemung River

Perusing one of the many free little libraries on a walk with Theresa.
Mom fills her time reading quite a bit and I'm on the look out for books.

The hibiscus is flowering despite the insects feasting on its leaves.

My sister's cone flowers. I stopped there to pick up my niece as I was dropping her off in Binghamton to catch her bus to NYC. We had a nice conversation on the one hour trip.

Savoring the sky on my way home.

I'm back home now to put my life back together. I feel I've aged 10 years in the past month and my fitness has taken a hit. I'm looking forward to my own company for a bit to decompress, and get back on track. I've got my own health to deal with for now.

2023 Biking Challenge (1000 miles and 2+ rides per month)

Jan: 1/8 - 18 miles; 1/29 -12 mi

Feb: 2/14/- 14 mi, 2/15 - 16 mi, 2/20 - 21 mi

March: 3/21 - 14 mi, 3/31 - 11.5 mi

April: 4/4 - 20 mi, 4/27 - 15 mi

May: 5/9 - 20 mi, 5/11 - 15.1 mi, 5/14 - 19 mi, 5/21 - 30.1 mi, 5/26 - 7 mi, 5/27 - 8 mi, 5/28 - 20 mi

June: 6/3 - 20.3 mi, 6/6 - 15 mi, 6/8 - 15 mi, 6/9 - 23 mi, 6/14 - 15 mi, 6/15 - 21 mi, 6/16 - 10 mi, 

6/22 - 10 mi

July: 7/8 - 30.25 mi,  7/17 - 11 mi, 7/20 - 20.25 mi, 7/22 - 30 mi, 7/26 - 18.1 mi, 7/28 - 10 mi

August: 8/2 - 16.5 mi, 8/5 - 33.8 mi, 8/9 - 7.7 mi, 8/12 - 6 mi, 8/13 - 13.7 mi, 

Total Distance: 588.3 miles

Comments

  1. MargaretAugust 14, 2023 at 12:28 AM

    It is so incredibly hard--the stress, the guilt, being torn about not being able to do enough while living any sort of life. We aren't immortal either! I'm glad things got better. We looked into Caring Angels for mom but currently she's doing OK and with my help (and sometimes my brother's) she is managing. But if/when her health deteriorates, we'll have tough choices to make. Much as I love her, I have two daughters and three grandchildren and need to have my own life as well. Sending you loving thoughts and support. xoxo

    ReplyDelete

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